By picking her up and taking her into their home, the groom provided an alibi for his wife’s chastity .
Make-up bells: Giving a bell as a wedding gift is another Irish tradition. The chime of bells is said to keep evil spirits away and also remind the married couple of their wedding vows. A nice modern twist is to hand out tiny bells to your guests to ring as you ‘tie the knot’ or when you exit the church instead of throwing confetti. (via Irish Wedding Traditions | Green Wedding Shoes Wedding Blog)
(via hallelujah-weddings)
Most brides know the tradition of the ring bearer: a young boy carries the wedding rings on a pillow down the aisle to the couple. Some say this wedding custom dates as far back to the Ancient Egyptians, however the trend of a ring bearer began in Victorian England and spread throughout the world. Though during the medieval times, Northern Europeans presented the ring to the bride on the tip of a sword. So as you can see, even if there weren’t official ring bearers back then, the tradition was still there! A ring bearer was first called a pageboy in England, and it is said that he originally carried the bride’s train and a prayer book along with the rings. He also used to wear a white lace collar and sash, but obviously that trend is dead and buried. Today ring bearers sport a tuxedo just like those of the groomsmen and groom.
The wedding bands are a symbolic part of the wedding ceremony, as well as the marriage between the couple. Wedding rings symbolize the new bond between the bride and the groom as well as their commitment to one another. They are precious in the eyes of the bride and groom. So obviously they must be handled with care! The ring bearer serves as the responsible carrier of the rings. This is also whyring bearer pillows are used—to ensure the rings are handled properly. Today, however, many couples opt for ring pillows with fake rings on them. But many ring pillows provide a pocket or thread for carrying the rings.
(Source: littlethingsfavors.com)
How did the flower girl come to be?
The first post in this series traces the flower girl’s history from her origins in ancient Rome all the way through to modern times. Along the way, I’ve included eco-friendly ideas you can use to translate her ancient customs into meaningful details and symbolic gestures…romantically linking past to present.
Ancient Rome
Although some sources suggest that the “flower girl” owes her start to British custom, some say young attendants made their first appearances at weddings in ancient Rome. During that time, they carried sheaves of wheat and herbs to ensure blessings of prosperity and fertility.
Why not provide your flower girl with a small posy of wheat and herbs to carry down the aisle? A lavender and wheat bouquet would be gorgeous for a summer wedding and the traditional wheat sheaf would be lovely in fall. Another idea is to provide her with a basket of grains to sprinkle instead of flower petals.
Medieval Times
During Medieval times, young attendants carried garlic which was believed to ward off evil spirits. I love the idea of sending the flower girl down the aisle with a small garlic braid as a nod to this ancient tradition. Braids can easily be decorated with fresh or dried flowers. If you are concerned about the smell or want something more subtle, try adding garlic blooms to a small posy or flower arrangement for the flower girl to carry.
Elizabethan Era
During the Elizabethan era, brides followed a petal strewn path from their homes to the church. Flower girls followed the musicians in the wedding procession carrying a gilded rosemary branch and a silver bride’s cup adorned with ribbons. I will share more about the tradition of the Bride’s Cup in another post, but for today’s purpose, there is a photo of one below. You could substitute a vintage silver cup or seek out an actual bride’s cup for your flower girl to carry. Filled with flower petals or rosemary leaves, the cup offers a unique and meaningful alternative to a basket. Likewise, a small bunch of rosemary sprigs would make a sweet posy, or you could simply work some fresh rosemary into a small floral bouquet for the flower girl to carry.
Victorian Era
The Victorian flower girl is probably the one who most resembles the flower girls of modern day. She is young and innocent…dressed in all white with perhaps a sash of colored satin or silk. Her dress, likely made of muslin, is intentionally left simple and intended for future use. The Victorian flower girl carries a beautifully decorated basket of fresh blooms or a floral hoop who’s symbolic circular shape echos that of the wedding ring…symbolizing that true love has no end.
Royal Influences
In Western Europe, the tradition of having child attendants in weddings was not limited to the flower girl and ring bearer; but to the entire group of attendants in the wedding party. This tradition has carried forward to present times in many royal and society weddings, as well as in weddings around the world where it is not uncommon to see two or more flower girls.
(Source: brasspaperclip.typepad.com)
Brides once used to wear their hair flowing down their back at their wedding to symbolise their virginity. Veils covering the hair and face became a symbolic reference to the virginity of the bride thereafter. Often in modern weddings, the ceremony of removing a face veil after the wedding to present the groom with a virgin bride is skipped, since many couples have already entered into conjugal relations prior to their wedding day - the bride either wears no face veil, or it is lifted before the ceremony begins, but this is not always the case. Further, if a bride is a virgin, she often wears the face veil through the ceremony, and then either her father lifts the veil, presenting the bride to her groom, or the groom lifts the veil to symbolically consummate the marriage, which will later become literal. Brides who are virgins may make use of the veil to symbolize and emphasize their status of purity during their wedding however, and if they do, the lifting of the veil may be ceremonially recognized as the crowning event of the wedding, when the beauty of the bride is finally revealed to the groom and the guests. It is not altogether clear that the wedding veil is a non-religious use of this item, since weddings have almost always had religious underpinnings, especially in the West. Veils, however, had been used in the West for weddings long before this. Roman brides, for instance, wore an intensely flame-colored and fulsome veil, called the flammeum, apparently intended to protect the bride from evil spirits on her wedding day. Later, the socalled velatio virginum became part of the rite of the consecration of virgins, the liturgical action in which the church celebrates an act of God who has called a Christian virgin to consecrate her virginity to Christ.
In the 19th century, wedding veils came to symbolise the woman’s virginity and modesty. The tradition of a veiled bride’s face continues even today wherein, a virgin bride, especially in Christian or Jewish culture, enters the marriage ritual with a veiled face and head, and remains fully veiled, both head and face, until the ceremony concludes. After the full conclusion of the wedding ceremony, either the bride’s father lifts the veil giving the bride to the groom who then kisses her, or the new groom lifts her face veil in order to kiss her, which symbolizes the groom’s right to enter into conjugal relations with his bride.[12]
The lifting of the veil was often a part of ancient wedding ritual, symbolising the groom taking possession of the wife, either as lover or as property, or the revelation of the bride by her parents to the groom for his approval.
In Judaism, the tradition of wearing a veil dates back to biblical times. According to the Torah in Genesis 24:65, Isaac is brought Rebekah to marry by his father Abraham’s servant. It is important to note that Rebekah did not veil herself when traveling with her lady attendants and Abraham’s servant and his men to meet Isaac, but she only did so when Isaac was approaching. Just before the wedding ceremony the badeken or bedeken is held. The groom places the veil over the bride’s face, and either he or the officiating Rabbi gives her a blessing. The veil stays on her face until just before the end of the wedding ceremony - when they are legally married according to Jewish law - then the groom helps lift the veil from off her face.
The most often cited interpretation for the badeken is that, according to Genesis 29, when Jacob went to marry Rachel, his father in law Laban tricked him into marrying Leah, Rachel’s older and homlier sister. Many say that the veiling ceremony takes place to make sure that the groom is marrying the right bride! Some say that as the groom places the veil over his bride, he makes an implicit promise to clothe and protect her. Finally, by covering her face, the groom recognizes that he his marrying the bride for her inner beauty; while looks will fade with time, his love will be everlasting. In some ultra-orthodox traditions the bride wears an opaque veil as she is escorted down the aisle to meet her groom. This shows her complete willingness to enter into the marriage and her absolute trust that she is marrying the right man. In Judaism, a wedding is not considered valid unless the bride willingly consents to it.
In ancient Judaism the lifting of the veil took place just prior to the consummation of the marriage in sexual union. The uncovering or unveiling that takes place in the wedding ceremony is a symbol of what will take place in the marriage bed. Just as the two become one through their words spoken in wedding vows, so these words are a sign of the physical oneness that they will consummate later on. The lifting of the veil is a symbol and an anticipation of this.
In the Western world, St. Paul’s words concerning how marriage symbolizes the union of Christ and His Church may underlie part of the tradition of veiling in the marriage ceremony.[13]
Generally as a message of goodwill, toasting someone with a drink is a sign of good luck.
Ancient Greek culture had a fear of poisoning and to accommodate this fear at large gatherings the host would pour glasses of wine for his guests from the same decanter and then take a first drink and toast everyone to show that the wine was suitable for drinking and guests would follow.
The actual term “toast” was also gathered from this time when pieces of toasted bread would be dipped in the wine to reduce the acidity and make it suitable for drinking.
There are 3 components to an official toast:
- Verbalization or the reason for the toast: why they are making a toast, and what the purpose of it is.
- Agreement soon follows after verbalization of the toast is made when everyone agrees to the toast that it reflects their own personal wishes, a sign that everyone is bringing their own good wishes to the toast. The clanking of the glasses is to be done with eyes locked to symbolize the purity behind a toast. Not looking someone in the eye while clinking glasses is showing a lack of trust and brings bad luck.
- Imbibing, taking the drink symbolizes the sanctity of the toast and conferring the toast upon the toastee. It is viewed as bad luck to toast with an empty glass. Not actually drinking from the glass or leaving the toast is considered disrespectful and bad luck.
If more than two toasts are given, most of the time with weddings, the second toast should have a different focus or a different purpose than the first toast. This is normally taken care of by the best man chiding the groom, the bridesmaid chiding the bride and then together reassuring their commitment to their marriage and that they wish good luck and good will upon them.
(Source: bkthedj.com)
Around 2 A.D. it was customary to marry someone in your town or community. When communities were small and the choices locally weren’t up to your standards, the man would ride off to another community to find and kidnap a bride. The best man served to help fight off other suitors or the father of the bride so that his friend was able to succeed acquiring a bride.
Bridesmaids originated around the same time. These women would help the bride prepare for her wedding and make sure that she got to the church in time.
These roles started out as one person, but it is acceptable to have groomsman and bridesmaids to assist the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor help the couple prepare for their wedding day.
(Source: bkthedj.com)
It is a Western custom for a newly married couple to exchange a kiss at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony. Some Christians hold the belief that the kiss symbolizes the exchange of souls between the bride and the groom, fulfilling the scripture that “the two shall become one flesh.” However, some trace the tradition to an ancient Roman tradition, whereby the exchange of a kiss signified the completion of a contract. Although the kiss is not a formal requirement of the ceremony, most regard the gesture as a joyful start of the marriage. The most traditional way guests entice the new couple to kiss is by clinking their glasses. An ancient Christian tradition explains that the clinking sound scares the devil away and the couple kisses in his absence. Another tradition is to ring bells placed at the tables by the wedding party. A ring of the bell signals the bride and groom to kiss. Today, most people uphold these traditions as a fun excuse to get the couple to smooch.
If you’ve ever wondered why Americans put the wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand, it’s because of an ancient Greek belief that a vein in this finger ran directly to the heart. And if you’ve ever groaned at having to buy both an engagement ring and a wedding ring, you can blame Pope Innocent III, who instituted a waiting period between engagement and marriage in the 13th century and also insisted that a ring be used in the wedding ceremony. Before that, rings were used to seal an engagement only (as well as other important agreements).
(Source: weddingflowersandmore.com)
The history of the wedding cake goes back as far as the Roman Empire, well before the concept of elaborately icing a cake, was invented. Through the years, the wedding cake has become the focus of a variety of customs and traditions. Some of these customs have survived through time. Some have not. The custom of breaking the cake over the bride’s head, is no longer practiced. The tradition may have its roots as far back as the Roman Empire. The groom would eat part of a loaf of barley bread baked especially for the nuptials and break the rest over his bride’s head. History tells us that breaking the bread symbolized the breaking of the bride’s virginal state and the subsequent dominance of the groom over her. As wedding cakes evolved into the larger, more modern version, it became physically impractical to properly break the cake over the bride’s head. The tradition disappeared fairly quickly in some places, but there were still reports of breaking an oatcake or other breakable cakes over the bride’s head in Scotland, in the 19th century. It’s reported that in Northern Scotland, friends of the bride would put a napkin over her head and then proceed to pour a basket of bread over her. It’s hard to say why some traditions endure and some do not, but the obvious male chauvinistic bent of this particular tradition probably leads to its early demise.
In Medieval England, cakes were described as breads which were flour-based foods without sweetening.No accounts tell of a special type of cake appearing at wedding ceremonies. There are, however, stories of a custom involving stacking small sweet buns in a large pile in front of the newlyweds. The couple would attempt to kiss over the pile. Success in the process was a sign that there would be many children in their future. .
First appearing in the middle of the17th century and well into the early 19th century, was a popular dish called the bride’s pie. The pie was filled with sweet breads, a mince pie, or may have been merely a simple mutton pie. A main “ingredient” was a glass ring. An old adage claimed that the lady who found the ring would be the next to be married. Bride’s pies were by no means universally found at weddings, but there are accounts of these pies being made into the main centerpiece at less affluent ceremonies. The name “bride cakes” emphasized that the bride was the focal point of the wedding. Many other objects also were given the prefix “bride,” such as the bride bed, bridegroom and bridesmaid.
By the late 19th century, wedding cakes became really popular, and the use of the bride’s pie disappeared. Early cakes were simple single-tiered plum cakes, with some variations. It was a while before the first multitiered wedding cake of today appeared in all its glory.
The notion of sleeping with a piece of cake underneath one’s pillow dates back as far as the 17th century and quite probably forms the basis for today’s tradition of giving cake as a “gift.” Legend has it that sleepers will dream of their future spouses if a piece of wedding cake is under their pillow. In the late 18th century this notion led to the curious tradition in which brides would pass tiny crumbs of cake through their rings and then distribute them to guests who could, in turn, place them under their pillows. The custom was curtailed when brides began to get superstitious about taking their rings off after the ceremony.
In the minds of most people, wedding cakes are “supposed to be” white. The symbolism attached to the color white, makes explaining this tradition rather simple. White has always denoted purity, a notion as it relates to white wedding cake icing that first appeared in Victorian times. Another way in which a white wedding cake relates to the symbol of purity, has its basis in the fact that the wedding cake was originally referred to as the bride’s cake. This not only highlighted the bride as the central figure of the wedding, but also created a visual link between the bride and the cake. Today, that link is being further strengthened as more contemporary brides have their wedding cakes coordinated with their wedding gown color, even if it’s not white!
Previous to Victorian times, most wedding cakes were also white, but not because of the symbolism. Using the color white for icing had a more pragmatic basis. Ingredients were very difficult to come by, especially those required for icing. White icing required the use of only the finest refined sugar, so the whiter the cake, the more affluent the families appeared. It was due to this fact that a white wedding cake became an outward symbol of affluence.
Wedding cakes take center stage in the traditional cake cutting ceremony, symbolically the first task that bride and groom perform jointly as husband and wife. This is one tradition that most of us have witnessed many times. The first piece of cake is cut by the bride with the “help” of the groom. This task originally was delegated exclusively to the bride. It was she who cut the cake for sharing with her guests. Distributing pieces of cake to one’s guests is a tradition that also dates back to the Roman Empire and continues today. Following the tradition of breaking the bread over the bride’s head, guests would scramble for crumbs that fell to the ground. Presumably the consumption of such pieces ensured fertility. But, as numbers of wedding party guests grew, so did the size of the wedding cake, making the distribution process impossible for the bride to undertake on her own. Cake cutting became more difficult with early multitiered cakes, because the icing had to be hard enough to support the cake’s own weight. This, of necessity, made cutting the cake a joint project. After the cake cutting ceremony, the couple proceed to feed one other from the first slice. This provides another lovely piece of symbolism, the mutual commitment of bride and groom to provide for one another.
The Groom’s Cake is a tradition that was prevalent in early American ceremonies, but seems to have fallen from favor in most contemporary weddings. The groom’s cake was usually dark (e.g., chocolate) to contrast with the bride’s cake. The groom’s cake appeared at the reception along with the wedding cake. The origin of this tradition is unclear. Some believe it was to be served by the groom, with a glass of wine, to the bridesmaids. Others believe it was to be saved and subsequently shared with friends after the honeymoon. The tradition seems to have survived primarily in the South.
The once simple wedding cake has evolved into what today is a multitiered extravaganza. The multitiered wedding cake was originally reserved for English royalty. Even for the nobility, the first multitiered cakes were real in appearance only. Their upper layers were mockups made of spun sugar. Once the problem of preventing the upper layers from collapsing into the lower layers was solved, a real multitiered wedding cake could be created. Pillars as decoration existed long before multitiered cakes appeared, so it was a natural progression for cake bakers to try using pillars as a way to support the upper tiers. To prevent the pillars from sinking into the bottom tier, icing was hardened to provided the necessary support.
There is hardly a bride today who can’t resist saving the top layer of her multitiered cake. Most couples freeze the cake with the intention of sharing it on their first wedding anniversary. The tradition has its roots in the late 19th century when grand cakes were baked for christenings. It was assumed that the christening would occur soon after the wedding ceremony, so the two ceremonies were often linked, as were the cakes. With wedding cakes becoming more and more fancy and elaborate, the christening cake quickly took a back seat to the wedding cake. When three-tiered cakes became popular, the top tier was often left over. A subsequent christening provided a perfect opportunity to finish the cake. Couples could then logically rationalize the need for three tiers —- the bottom tier for the reception, the middle tier for distributing and the top for the christening. As the time between the weddings and the christenings widened, the two events became disassociated, and the reason for saving the top tier changed. Regardless of the underlying reason, when the couple finally does eat the top tier, it serves as a very pleasant reminder of what was their very special day.
(Source: hudsonvalleyweddings.com)
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue and a Silver Sixpence in her Shoe
This rhyme originated in Victorian times. ‘Something Old’ signifies that the Couple’s friends will stay with them. In one version of the tradition the ‘Something Old’ was an old garter which was given to the bride by a happily married woman so that the new bride would also enjoy a happy marriage. ‘Something New’ looks to the future for health, happiness and success.
‘Something Borrowed’ is an opportunity for the Bride’s family to give her something as a token of their love (it must be returned to ensure Good Luck), and ‘Something Blue’ is thought lucky because Blue represents fidelity and constancy. The custom began in ancient Israel where brides wore a blue ribbon in their hair to symbolise their fidelity. A sixpence was placed in the shoe to bring the couple wealth in their married life. Some brides still place a penny in their shoe during the marriage ceremony.
Did You Know:
The garter tradition originated back to the 14th century. In parts of Europe the guests of the bride and groom believed having a piece of the bride’s clothing was thought to bring good luck. They would actually destroy the brides dress by ripping off pieces of fabric. Obviously, this tradition did not sit well with the bride, so she began throwing various items to the guests – the garter being one of them. It became customary for the bride to toss the garter to the men. But this also caused a great problem for the bride….sometimes the men would get drunk, become impatient and try to remove the garter ahead of time. Therefore, the custom derived at having the groom remove and toss the garter to the men. With this change, the bride began to toss the bridal boutique to the unwed girls who were eligible for marriage.
Another interesting custom dated back to the ancient times where the wedding garter represented the virginal girdle. When the groom removed the garter from the bride, this represented the bride’s relinquishment of her virginity.
