A Future Bride

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5 Rules of Wedding Gift Giving

Buy From Their Registry
Don’t get too creative: Nearly 85% of brides want you to select a wedding gift from their wedding registry list, and 98% have at least one registry list, either in a store or on the web. Look online to see where the couple is registered: 4 in 10 couples have a wedding website that links to their online registry. Many retailers make shopping more convenient by allowing guests to access registries online, or you can just head to the store to purchase in person. The couple set up the registry for a reason, and if you stick to it, you can’t possibly buy a gift they won’t like! Unlike years past, today’s couples want modern twists on the traditional wedding gifts, even though some of the most coveted gifts still hail from the kitchen, dinning, bedding, and bath departments.
Kitchen, Entertaining, Bed, and Bath Gifts a Must
For deluxe bedding and bath, give them gifts that’ll create a spa-like, hotel environment every morning when they wake up. Think about buying them a trio of gifts to create a theme: What about a set of super-soft pillows, a thick down blanket, and a pair of high thread-count hotel towels? In terms of entertaining, everyday affairs are big for brides, so consider giving a set dishes and stainless flatware that can multitask — and either be dressed up for dinner with the boss or dressed down for a backyard barbecue. It seems everyone wants to be a gourmand these days, and many couples use their wedding as an excuse to upgrade their kitchen with top-notch appliances. Give state-of-the-art kitchen gear, gadgets, and cookware that look as good on the counter as they do when in use. It’s a bad idea to use the price-per-plate as a measure for how much you should spend on the wedding gift — you wouldn’t give your best friend a less expensive gift just because she was having a more casual affair. Spend what you think is appropriate to your relationship to the couple, and also consider what’s reasonable in your city. Here’s the ballpark you should be aiming for
Don’t Spend Less Than $50
Coworker and/or a distant family friend or relative: $50-$75
Relative or friend: $75-$100
Close relative or close friend: $100-$150+
Married couples who took our survey said that their favorite gifts were big-ticket items purchased by a group of their friends, and that makes sense: They would most likely never be able to afford those luxuries on their own. If the couple has registered for an item that’s out of range for just one person to afford, ask some other guests to chip in with you. It’s also a great idea for the bridal party to band together and buy the couple the item of their dreams.
Give a Big Group Gift
Two out of three newlywed couples polled told us they still haven’t received all of their wedding gifts, which left us wondering — what ever happened to the longstanding one-year rule? With the convenience of online buying and shipping, there’s little excuse for such a delay — try to send your gift within two months of the wedding. And though you’re excited for them to see it, don’t bring it to the wedding — they won’t want to lug it around, and it could get damaged during the night. Having it shipped straight to them will make things easier for everyone!
Buy it Within Two Months

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10 Tips on Registering for Wedding Gifts

What are you waiting for? Registering for wedding gifts should be one of the first tasks you tackle when you get engaged. Friends and relatives will be looking to buy wedding gifts as soon as he pops the question. Really! Take the guesswork out of gift buying by making sure they know what you want. You don’t need to complete your list just yet, but at least have a selection for guests to browse.

Hitting the stores together is essential. After all, the gifts are for both of you. To decide what you need, take inventory of the things you already have and see where the gaps are. Talk about the style of home you’d both like, and split up the final say (you could alternate items) to make it fair. (Maybe he gets to make final decisions on electronics, while you get to choose the kitchen stuff since you’re the chef.)

Don’t feel like you just need to register for china and flatware. Many stores have wedding registries now, so feel free to include whatever it is that will make your new house a home, be it electronics, appliances, or even camping equipment.

Try to avoid filling your list with things you’re never going to use. If you two aren’t the formal party types, then you probably won’t need a crystal punch bowl, as compelling as it may seem when you walk by with that registry scanner. Also, be extra-sure before you register for anything that’s monogrammed. Once your name is on it, you probably won’t be able to return it.

It’s always a good idea to inquire about a store’s exchange/return policies. The great thing is many wedding registry retailers have amazing customer service to accommodate to-be-weds’ needs (for example, you might suddenly realize that you don’t really have room for 24 chargers and want to return, say, eight of them). That said, being aware of the store’s return and exchange timelines will help you better plan and manage your registry.

As much as you may be hankering for that gorgeous $350-a-place-setting silver, be sure to register for items in a wide range of price points: under $50, under $75, under $100, under $200, and beyond, so all of your guests can choose gifts they can afford. You don’t want your college friend feeling overwhelmed by the fact that he can’t find a single gift; and on the opposite side, you don’t want your parents’ closest friends to have to buy you a multitude of smaller items to give you a generous gift.

At least one (and preferably all) of your registries should be available online. Guests should also be able to place their orders in person, over the phone, or by fax. If you’ve registered at a boutique retailer that doesn’t offer online services, you should be okay, as long as that’s not the only place you’ve registered. We live in a hectic world and you want to let guests be able to order you a gift — even if it’s 2 a.m.!

When a guest buys a gift for you, your registry should automatically update, allowing other guests to see what’s been purchased (and allowing you to see what’s on its way!). Make sure to revisit your registry often (trust us, you’ll be visiting several times a day once the wedding day nears), and update it with additional selections as products are purchased so that guests always have a variety of things to choose from. Aim to have at least twice as many items on your list as guests at your wedding.

Sure, some couples love receiving cash, but asking for it is not exactly Future Mr. and Mrs. Manners-approved. A more etiquette-friendly option? Try gift cards. Many stores allow you to register for them and you can use them to buy the things you want and need…later. If you are anxious for cash gifts, ask one or two close friends and immediate family members to politely spread the word.

Be gracious — let your guests know their gifts have arrived — promptly. Thank-you notes for gifts received before the wedding should be sent within two weeks of their arrival. Notes for gifts received on or after the wedding day should be sent within a month of your return from the honeymoon. In all notes, be sure to mention the gift by name.